I am inspired to write this morning. My inspiration was a post of Ree Drummonds called the doughnut story. I posted it on FB if you are interested in reading it.
Here is one of my favorites. A true story that happened to me.
The panty hose story.
This amusing event took place back in the late seventies. A friend and amateur artist like myself decided to make a trip to Eugene(where I actually live now)from Central Oregon where we lived. There was an art show at one of the major hotels. We thought it good inspiration to take in this show as the style of painting displayed was what we were interested in.
We walked into the event and strolled around a bit to get the feel of the place. We helped ourselves to flute of champagne and had a small plate of appetizers as we were a little hungry. The event was huge and encompassed two large areas. We had been strolling and looking and admiring the different artists work when I noticed that every once in a while someone would stare at me when I walked past them. I was liking the attention as I thought I looked quite nifty in a cream colored polyester pants suit with a black blouse under and black clogs and purse. The more I walked around the more attention I received. Finally after more than a couple of hours spent enjoying the show(and the attention) we decided we needed to go have a late lunch and head back over the mountain home.
We wanted to find a particular restaurant and we got lost many times it seemed we were always on a freeway heading the wrong direction. This went on for over an hour and our patience was growing thin. As if we were directed we finally found ourselves on the right street. We were starved and surely needed a glass of wine after all that stress.
My friend was driving and she parked and we got out of the car. She was walking behind me a short distance as we departed the parking lot to the eatery when she started laughing so hard. I looked back and she was doubled over having a conniption fit. I walked back to her and asked what on earth was she laughing at. All she could do is point. She was pointing at my right foot. I looked down and did not see anything unusual, then I spotted at the back of my slacks this long brown piece of nasty looking fabric hanging out of the bottom of my pant leg. It was long and it was filthy and it was one entire leg of a pair of panty hose.
OMG I was horrified! How could this happen? Then I remembered I had worn these slacks just a week before and I had panty hose on under them as it was cold. So I surmised when I removed my slacks the panty hose stayed inside lining my slacks. So slipping them on that morning the panty hose were still riding along inside the slacks. So the more I walked about the more they slipped out. As I came to this conclusion I soon realized why I was getting so many looks.
This realization put me into hysteric's. I was laughing so hard at myself and stumbling around the parking lot with this appendage still attached like an extra thin dirty leg that I fell into a bush in the parking lot. My friend at this time had not quit her laughter. As tears rolled down both of our cheeks we heard applause and looked to where it was coming from and there on a hotel balcony were several folks enjoying the show. At this point I had to go the potty so bad I was ready to wet my pants, the more I laughed the harder it was to control my bladder. I jumped behind the bush and pulled and pulled at the dirty panty hose until I felt it release and come loose. I threw it into the bushes and raced to the restaurant madly looking for the bathroom. I am so thankful I made it just in the nick of time.
Later as my friend and I were seated in a cozy booth across from one another every time our eyes met we would start up again. We tried to hold our laughter until our eyes watered and our noses snorted. It took quite a while for us to finally settle down.
So that is my panty hose story. Oh I have plenty more stories believe me. My daughter said to me not to long ago. Mom why do these things happen to you? The only answer I have been able to come up with is. I am a dork!
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